During the Holiday

I know that a lot of people struggle with finances these days. The entire country itself is struggling with finances which only makes things more difficult on business and people in general. This is a great time of stress as well. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to give and make other people we love happy. Sometimes that is just impossible. I know of families that have members that have lost their jobs. The stress became so bad that they fought with each other and one of the parties leaves the other behind. This causes more stress. The other party then doesn't perform as well at work or in her/his relationships outside. They lose friends and become more isolated. This is all a trap. So before you become a statistic think of these things:

1. A gift is one that comes from the heart. It can be as simple as a smile or a note that tells someone how important they are. It does not have to cost money or run on batteries or electricity. If a person doesn't appreciate such a gift then it is their own materialism in question and not your generosity.

2. If you are going through hard times your spouse/significant other is the person you should most be able to lean on. Before arguing about money think about what is truly important. I know for a fact that if I lost everything I own today and still had my family I would feel lucky and blessed. My house is a thing. My car is a thing. My family is my heart. I may not plan on losing my home or car, but things happen that are sometimes beyond our control. Think about this for a bit and you will understand what I mean. Arguing over things are not as important as maintaining communication and love.

3. Never give up. Sometimes help comes from the most unexpected sources. I know someone personally that a year ago had lost it all. They kept the family together. They persevered, managed to gain other employment and a year later are back on their feet - as a family. Put out good energies instead of focusing on the bad that happens.

4. Give up on the past. Don't place blame on everyone and everything else. Focusing blame doesn't change your circumstances. The only way to move forward is to focus on what you need, not on what you may have lost or may lose. Sometimes people blame others and other things just to justify themselves. It's not necessary. Being right or wrong doesn't change the circumstance. It only holds us back longer and tends to make us seem that we are feeling sorry for ourselves.

For those of us that have been blessed with continued good fortune, pass it along. I don't mean with money or gifts, but with support, love, and encouragement.

Remember, an act of kindness never truly goes unnoticed, sometimes it just feels that way because we expect immediate results.

A Thank you to our Vets

An Online Dating Guide for the Single Man

I have friends that are back on the dating scene. Most of the guys they meet seem clueless. So, here is a hint for the men out there that are looking for a woman.

You're sitting at home wanting to go out, but you find it's just really hard to meet anyone. You figure it should be easy, after all men outnumber women in society, but it's just not that easy. So what are you doing wrong? Maybe nothing. Perhaps you just need a few simple suggestions to help you get back on that dating saddle and ride to your next relationship.

Let's start with online dating, which is becoming the only way most people seem to be able to meet anyone. First, always have your picture up on your profile page. Do not use an old picture or a picture that you took with your ex, but you cut her out. Take the time to get a real up to date picture that looks like you. Nothing sends off warning signs to a woman like a man who won't provide a picture or one that sends a picture that looks nothing like the guy. If dating is really important to you, take a few minutes to clean up your mug, smile, and click.

Another important thing to remember on your profile is to be honest and upbeat. If your profile says something like, “No one wants to date me because most women today just don't like us fat guys,” more than likely you'll make that self-fulfilling prophecy come true. Stick to the positive aspects of your personality, the hobbies you like to have, and what you really would like to find in a relationship. Stay away from stating you are looking for a specific body type. What that tells a woman is that you are just looking for sex. Most women want a man that keeps an open mind when it comes to women. If you state, “only answer if you're thin and good-looking” or “no fatties need apply” you've cut your chances of meeting someone down to about zero.

When you do have a woman that answers your request to chat, keep it light and the tone just conversational. A lot of men go straight to the sex talk. That puts up a huge red flag for most women. You could very well end up on their block list. You'll find most women on a dating site are looking for a relationship that lasts more than one night in the sack. If you're looking for a one night stand, then the dating website might not be your best option. Ask the woman about her interests, her job, and anything else that the conversation you are having seems to lead toward. Do not lie about the amount of money you make, your educational background, or what you do for a living. The truth will eventually come out and you will end up back where you started – dateless.

Finally, when you find that woman that agrees to meet you for coffee or dinner take a small amount of time to clean up. Show that you put a little effort into the date. She'll notice and appreciate it. Also, keep your hands in check. Nothing turns a woman off more than a man that can't keep his hands to himself and has no self-control. It not only makes her feel like you are only looking for another sexual conquest, but it turns her off. As long as it may have been for you since your last encounter, if you really want a second date and like the woman you'll need to restrain yourself and wait just a little longer.

So, just remember these simple little things and you'll be on your way to finding your perfect woman. Keep it honest, keep it simple, and keep your hands to yourself. If you follow these simple steps there is little doubt that you will be off the computer and on your way to dating a real life woman.

It's so tiring...

We have millions of people working to try and make ends meet. We have millions of people complaining about the state of affairs in the country. We aren't alone, though. Every single country in the world has complaints.
But it's tiring listening to politicians all say they have the answer - no one is listening.

No matter who comes up with what plan not everyone is going to be happy. We need to be more proactive in our efforts. Quit worrying about which political party will benefit the most. Quit making snide comments about this guy or that guy. Quit jacking everyone around and just do your job.

It's just tiring listening to the same arguments over and over again. Step up, swallow your pride, forget about your political affiliations and think about this country, because in reality, if you don't stop mucking around you won't have a political party to worry about because the country will have fallen apart. Who gets the last laugh then?

Religion in Schools

I realize that there are many families out there that have very strict religious beliefs. It is only natural to want to instill those ideas on your children. However, what I have noticed in my son's 6th grade social studies class some of them do not teach religious tolerance as well.

In this particular class they were talking about Hinduism and their idea of reincarnation. It is understandable that a Christian child would not believe in the concept of reincarnation, but when that same child was asked "If you had a Hindu friend how would you tell him about your idea that reincarnation is not real to you?" The boy answered, "I would tell him that reincarnation is stupid." The conversation went on with other children weighing in on the subject. Most of the class agreed that there cannot possibly be anything awaiting them after death except heaven.

I do not have a problem with the concept of heaven. I don't even have an issue with children being raised Christian. My son, in response to the question answered, "I think everyone has the right to believe how they want. If I had a Hindu friend I would let him tell me about what he believes and we could share our ideas together." He also realized that calling his friend "stupid" would probably not be a very friendly act. My son also told his class that he was not Hindu nor Buddhist, but that we did have some Hindu and Buddhist objects in our home. No one commented.

In this same class it was brought up that Yoga is also a Hindu practice. His teacher told the class that the word "yoga" means "union." Some of the classmates admitted that they or their parents practiced yoga at some time or another. Yoga also was said to bring spiritual insight and tranquility, a concept that no one seemed to have a problem with. It was said then that this practice had been taken over and Americanized so that made it okay.

I remember not too long ago that I had brought up to some people the idea of meditation and reflection in our daily lives. I find this to be an extremely good practice for relieving stress and giving myself some time away from issues and problems. These people looked at me as if I had two heads and was spouting nonsense. One woman very calmly told me, "I just pray. Praying to God is what gets me through."

I don't have a problem with prayer. I pray. However, just because you meditate doesn't mean you can't pray. I have taught my children to meditate. I remember my now sixth grader when he was only 3 years old sitting on the end of the bed with me crossed legged, closing his eyes, his little hands resting on the ends of his knees and his thumb touching the tips of his middle fingers. His brother and I were watching him and smiled broadly. Then we started breathing deeply. As we settled into our breathing we heard, "Ommmm... ommm... ommm...." We looked up to see his eyes clenched tightly and him rocking slightly back and forth chanting. We started laughing. Even though he had been raised with us meditating daily, he had seen something on television about meditation. That one image and program had changed his entire aspect on what we were doing.

I say, if you need to pray - pray. I recommend meditation. I also say that if it comforts you to believe that you can come back to another life to live it better - go for it. If it brings you comfort than it is doing something good.

We need to be careful what we do to our children. Making them too rigid may very well make them miserable adults.

A Tribute of Thanks from the Family of Bill Dunbar

Bill Dunbar

During our lives we expect to have special people to share things with. When you are born you start with your parents and sibling, aunts and uncles, cousins, and so on. You are influenced by these people as they help you grow up and make decisions in your life. When you get married your family expands. You gain more parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, and so on. They become an integral part of your life and as they go through life they share their feelings with you. It's expected.

Some of the people that affect our life are more memorable and have more of an impact on you and your family. These are the people that we tend to look up to. Many times we may even take for granted that they are there and will always be there.  However, regardless of how we see things or feel about them, life doesn't work that way. Sometimes even the most special people leave us. We experience grief. We share memories. Those left behind hopefully become closer because we realize that we did have a bond. We were connected by our emotions for that person that linked us and reminded us that we truly are family - not bound by blood, but bound by heart.

This is what happened to my family. My father-in-law, Bill Dunbar was a man that valued friends and family. His laugh was infectious. He has more passion in his soul than you would believe any single human being could hold. His love of life, family, and friends was almost magical. His soul was free. He was able to show this when he sailed. He was able to maneuver through the water with ease and it was as if he was brother to the water and the wind. He was full of knowledge and generosity making him a memorable figure in every life he touched.

As part of his family, we knew this. We lived it and experienced it. And when we lost him we felt it deeply. It's expected because we are family. What we didn't expect was the generosity and outpouring of love and sympathy from the friends he made at the Tsa-La-Gi Yacht Sailing Club out of Okay, OK. They expanded what we knew of Bill and showed us the difference he made not only in our lives, but in the lives of others.

During his memorial service and afterward at the dinner they kindly provided for us in his memory we learned that Bill had been loved by many other people. He never failed to help someone with a project or a need. He was full of words of wisdom for them. He made people feel special. He was the type of man that they wanted to honor and remember. They extended this compassion and generosity to us, his family. The people at the club gave us a new view of Bill and went beyond the normal sympathy that friends show.

These wonderful and magnanimous people took us out on the water that our Bill loved to sail. They helped us remember him not only through our eyes but theirs. We prayed over the water, placed roses and flowers there to commemorate his memory and true love. We found a group of amazing people here in Oklahoma and understood how and why Bill would spend so much time there.

A mere thank you does not seem enough for all they gave us yesterday, but we do thank them all for what they gave us. We will remember it in our hearts and will keep them all in our prayers.

* Note: "TLG Yacht Club is located Southeast of Tulsa. From Wagoner south on highway 16 to the turn east on Gray Oaks Road is 7 miles. East on Gray Oaks Road for 4.3 miles to the second 4 way stop. North for 2 miles a sharp left curve then a sharp right curve to the Jackson Bay sign. Then left for .25 mile to the TLG gate. Jackson Bay Marina and Tsa-La-Gi Yacht Club are the same entity.

Now I Understand Mary's Little Lamb at School.

CNN report on sheep and solar panels help cut school costs at Wilson Middle School in Carlisle, PA.

More schools should be as innovative. If everyone thought about cutting costs this way, perhaps we wouldn't have so much debt!

Gives Mary's Little Lamb following her to school a whole new perspective.