At 4:44 What is the universe saying?

I was stark awake this morning before the sun rose. I looked over at the clock and it was 4:44 am. It seemed odd to me to wake up with three fours. When I had my heart attack a few years ago it was around 4 am. I wasn't able to go back to sleep right away. I rolled one way. Then I rolled another. I woke my husband who asked, "Do you need me to move?" I told him, "No. I'm fine."

Finally I picked up my laptop and wrote out a will. It's not that I'm rich and have a lot to give, but it just seemed like the right thing to do. Afterward I drifted back off.

I didn't die. 

I think it's important here to make reference to the fact that in spite of my husband making a very good living we are having a very rough time getting ends to meet. We aren't alone. He works very hard. Most weeks he works over 40 hours per week and doesn't get overtime. Still we struggle. We have two boys at home going through school. Our mortgage is about the only bill we have been able to pay to keep a roof over our heads. We have medical insurance, but it doesn't pay all the hospital and doctor bills. The utility bills have increased the last couple of years by about 40%. Food bills have increased by 45%. Everyone knows how high gasoline prices have increased. Unfortunately wages haven't gone up with the increase in costs. Government is killing us with tax increases and all the free programs they want to give out that only those working families pay for and don't receive any benefit from. So, it's no wonder that the first thought in my mind when I thought I may be having another heart attack my thought was, "Oh, Brian can use the insurance money to help alleviate our debt!" 

I did mention this to him, but his response was, "I'd rather be totally broke without anything than lose you."

Anyway, I looked up 4:44. Interestingly enough the first hit on google was a movie starring William Dafoe about the end of the world. Okay. A little farther down we have a reference for John 4:44 which reads, "Now Jesus himself had pointed out that a prophet has no honor in his own country." Prophet? I never thought of myself as such, however, I love my country. I just hate what the government is doing to it. But enough to make me wake up at that hour for no reason? So, I took out the colon. Here is what I found.

Spiritual meaning of 444: "The spiritual meaning of 444 is one of many repeating numbers designed to get your attention and serve as a wake up call from your spiritual guides.

444 is a very powerful number. It means that your angels are by your side and want the very best for you. They are asking that you pay attention very carefully to the signs that you see around you."

That is a much more comforting thought. It was definitely a wake up call. There are a lot of changes that have to be made. So, whatever the universe is trying to say, just know, I'm listening.

Things ARE NOT Getting Better

I do not know about anyone else, but we are much worse off now than we were four years ago.. even two years ago. Groceries have risen about 60% over the last four years. Insurance rates increased. They took all the old cars and destroyed them instead of recycling which made car repair go up. Utilities have risen by 40%. Gasoline prices have seriously increased. Income taxes increased. Homeowner taxes increased. Cost of health care is outrageous even with insurance and companies paying up to 90% of the bill. After my surgery and Aidan's illness we still owe tens of thousands of dollars AFTER insurance. I am unable to hold a full time job due to my condition, yet I have to fight to get benefits and have been denied. Wages have not risen with the price of inflation, and yet they say not to worry because things are becoming stable? Seriously? We may have to sell our home - if we can due to the housing market - or lose it altogether. This is how we know the government is lying to us. They can afford fancy parties, $500 per plate dinners, and designer clothes while we scrounge to keep food on the table. In spite of this people still keep looking with blinders on going in the same direction like sheep. I'm not asking for a hand out. I miss the days when we could pay our bills and have a chance. All this because we have a middle class income? We aren't even doing as well as the lower class who get free money for being poor while we struggle to just survive.

Sixteen Year Old Invaded by Body Snatchers

I think my sixteen year old has been invaded by body snatchers. Why? Because I know for a fact I didn't raise this child that is so surly and discontent. Her Ipod broke that she received for Christmas. Things happen. She wanted me to send it back and get a new one to replace it since it should still be under warranty. Of course it looks as if it's been out on the battlefield and hit by a couple of sniper rounds, but hey, I'm sure the guys over at Apple wouldn't notice, right? When I told her that I didn't think that the abuse was covered by warranty she goes storming off and slamming doors. Not a pretty sight. She didn't even wait for me to tell her I'd buy her another MP3 player. Nopers. She would much rather go and let the demons in her roar.

Then she comes back and tells me that she didn't "abuse" the Ipod. It wasn't her fault that the cord was being held together with duct tape. Millions of kids around the globe have this problem with their Ipod's, it's just an Ipod problem. Okay then. Evidently my Ipod, her dad's Ipod, and her 9 year old brother's Ipod are immune because it is a disease they only contract from teenagers. Whew. Good thing for me, huh?

I remember the other day I watched a movie called "The Secret"(no, not the one where you think about what you want in life and get it) where a father loses his wife in an accident and she comes back in the daughter's body. Kind of creepy, but there was one really interesting line. The mother, speaking through the daughter says something like "I didn't remember what it was like to be sixteen. You have all these hormones running through you going crazy. You feel horny, angry, and sad all at the same time and you have no idea what you want."

So, I guess instead of turning my daughter over to the government for alien experimentation I'll keep her, at least for another couple of years. I'll listen to her door slamming and yelling and crying and remember... my mother was so lucky I wasn't like this when I was 16.