Friday, May 27, 2011

Raising Children When You're in Your 40's

My daughter
When I was told that I couldn't have children, I cried. Of course every time someone else tells me that I can't do something I try my best to prove them wrong. In this case I ended up having four great kids.

I was thinking today, after watching my daughter with her new born son, about how different I parented after having my second set of children. In my 20's I was much more high strung about the children. As they grew up I didn't have nearly the patience as I did with the second set. My two older ones will tell you that they were spanked growing up. My two younger ones will tell you they haven't been spanked. It's an entirely different way of raising children.

So is age the difference? It's not just the age. I went to college after having the first two. I studied to become and educator for children with learning differences. I was schooled in different types of behavior management. I understood more about what a child was going through as they grew older and the different stages of their development. I also changed my living situation.

My new grandson
What I do know is that each child is and individual. What may work on one child may not work on another. While visiting with my daughter and new grandson yesterday I teased her a bit. "Put the baby on a schedule if you don't like how often he's nursing," I smiled. She gave me an odd look and replied, "Yeah. That worked so well when we tried it coming home from the hospital. You try to tell him he can wait ten or fifteen more minutes to eat."

That was my point. Sometimes you just have to develop a system that works for both of you. I'm very proud of my daughter and her growing relationship with her own child. They are both amazing. She has read books on raising children and what you should and shouldn't do for infants, but in the long run she is developing her own parenting style - and it works.

My three sons
I have no doubt in my mind that her little guy will grow up to be a very loving, intelligent, and amusing young man just like his uncles. After all, his mother is doing a fantastic job.


Anonymous said...

why did they say you couldn't have kids? how old were you when you had the older ones? i love your spirit. i'm 40 and just had one and i want one more.

Pasty said...

They said that I couldn't have children because my body wasn't made to have them. I had six miscarriages and my first full term pregnancy was full of problems. The doctor said having children could kill me.