I started playing Evony II, not because of the busty women that were trying to entice players via cleavage, (I have enough of my own, thanks). It wasn't because I had too much time to kill during the day. Taking care of four children, a husband, and a house full of critters keeps a person pretty busy. It wasn't because I needed a game to play, I was already invested in some zoo game and was collecting animals. Looking back I have no idea what made me click that facebook button to start. Fate maybe?
The first day I played I started on server na13. I joined an alliance, the first one that I came to. I had no idea what I was doing and to this day I don't know why they accepted me. I certainly didn't fit their criteria for membership, having no prestige points. I just kind of slipped through the cracks. Then something amazing happened. I started chatting with people and I like them.
I have never been a chatter. I never went to chat rooms to find people. I had friends and family and have felt very fulfilled with my life. Looking back starting up conversations with random people wasn't my cup of tea. Yet here I was in the middle of a game I had never had any intention of playing and doing something I had never had an interest in doing. I found I loved being in the alliance and helping work with others to accomplish absolutely nothing worth accomplishing. It's a game, but I was having fun. These people were funny and full of life. They were real to me.
You've heard the old adage that "all good things must come to an end?" My life on na13 did as well. Some of us thought of it as a game, but I learned that others thought of it as their life. It's quite sad, really. One person in particular decide that he was the Tyrant of Evony. He was technically in charge of the alliance. Long story short he kind of broke us up and I ended up telling him off via mail. I killed off my cities there and was ready to leave.
One of my new found friends talked me into going to another server. We were going to start again. It wasn't the game as much as it was that we liked talking to one another. A third person followed. He told the others where we were and more came and joined us in our new home on na15. We made it an adult alliance due to the R rated conversations we have.
I have to admit that our conversations are entertaining. We share our lives and adventures with each other. We share dirty jokes, bad jokes, and jabs. We care about what happens to each other. We shared our facebook pages with one another.
It's about the people. Yes, we play the game, but we found a place where most of us feel the same way about life. We support one another and we honestly care. Plus, we get to band together to kick butt. It's perfect.
I know that gaming is the problem in many relationships. I do not condone someone spending their lives playing a game and ignoring their families or responsibilities. Chatting should never be a substitute for one on one conversations. But for me these people I have met on Evony are my friends. They are people I would happily go and meet and have to my home.
Hello. My name is Pasty. I admit I am an Evony addict, but it's not the game I'm addicted to. It's the people.
* Update: Since writing this post I have quit playing Evony. I still have some of the friends I met on there and we converse on Facebook. But one should note: It is never okay to have a game get in the way of family life or spouses. Make sure that you don't let the game get in the way of actually living.
6 comments:
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I certainly don't want to be disrepectful but your post was expecially disturbing to me considering that Evony has ruined my marriage. He's been playing for almost 18 months and believe me, he doesn't care anything about his real life or our marriage anymore. He has secrets and lies and an alternate personality that he uses on Evony. These "friends" of his have "known" him for 18 months...I've "known" him for 18 years but he's not the same person anymore. I don't know who he is. He's only happy in his virtual world...sad for him, sad for me. What about your husband and 4 kids...do they know about your secret life? R rated conversations?
I am sorry about your husband. I do know that for some people online gaming is an obsession and not a past time, as it is supposed to be.
Yes, my husband knows about my time on the computer. He actually, per my request, made an account. My children do not go unnoticed nor neglected. We take them places, spend family time together with game night at the kitchen table, watch movies, etc.
My husband and I also have a regular date night. I think all couples should have that. It doesn't even have to be costly. There are many things that we do together that are not.
I perhaps have been on more lately considering that I cannot walk well and am scheduled for surgery. But we don't have people in our alliance that I see playing 24/7. I believe most all of them have lives. We also have other couples online together. We also don't have R rated conversations. More like PG goofy.
Evony is not like World of Warcraft where you have to spend hours at a time watching the screen. It is made where you can spend a little time and walk away because there is nothing else to do unless you chat with people.
I am sorry about your trouble. I wish I could help you.
Anonymous -
I understand your concern and the anger you feel towards Evony - and any other game at this point. However, did you ever wonder if the reason he is playing constantly, becoming someone different, is because he's trying to get away from something that is bothering him at home? I wish that turning off the computer on him would help matters. Maybe you should talk to him. If nothing else, play with him once in a while. I can't imagine that Evony is the only cause for your marriage falling apart, do what you can to salvage it.
If your Evony playing gets out of control, or for Anonymous, if you want support being an Evony widow, come to www.olganon.com. I'm recovering Evony addict there, and there are spouses of Evony addicts there as well.
Evony is a huge problem in many marriages. Patsy the fact that you admit in your initial post to having R rated conversations is disturbing. My husband worries more about his "friends" from an online game than he does about his real life relationships. I cannot stress how strongly to all of you people affected by an online addict that it is nothing to do with you. I have tried everything to distract him from the game and all to no avail. I feel sad that he dosn't see that he is losing me and worry about him when he realises it is too late. I hope his online friends can help him when he needs a hug or when he is sick or even share moments of joy in his life. A world of words printed on a screen is pale and sad in comparison to a real world of people who love you and want nothing more than to help you and support you when you reach for your dreams. Patsy I'm sorry you're having trouble walking but that simply sounds like another excuse to play while your children and husband have the good grace to wait for your attention. Believe me it will not last forever. Good luck.
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