Wednesday, March 2, 2011

A Very Wise Man

What the superior man seeks is in himself.
What the mean man seeks is in others.
The Confucian Analects
A very wise man said something that stuck with me today. We were chatting about relationships and I was teasing him about his girlfriend. Then he said, "The secret of keeping your wife happy is not treating her like a wife or a girlfriend."

"Huh." I thought. He's right. When you start dating someone you are interested in you always put your best foot forward. You care about what they think and how they feel. You even strike up a communication with them, something that seems to get lost as relationships grow. After you have been with someone a while you do tend to find yourself feeling comfortable and doing the same things. You even take one another for granted.

If we stopped and thought about the same things we did when we were dating, how would that change our relationships? Personally, I think it would make a world of difference.

Those of us that have children might think it's a bit more difficult to do that. However, if you think about it it's not the planning or the dating that he's talking about. It won't take any more time out of your day. It's an attitude thing. Just change the way you think about the other person. Not as someone that has to stay with you because you are now linked, but as someone that you really enjoy being around and wanting to spend time with.

Now how cool is that? Who would have thought that a single guy that works all day with numbers could be so relationship savvy?

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