The Lovely Bones

The Lovely Bones is a great novel, well most of it anyway. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and getting caught up in the realistic portrayal of the Salmon family truly feeling for their tragedy. Parts of it even made me cry just from the thought of someone losing a child in such a horrible fashion. But toward the end the book lost some of its umph. I think it's because it was told by the dead girl and it was hard to let her pass on as she watched her family grow older without her.

I thought the movie would be equally impressive. I was reading how it has a phenomenal director and how the girl chosen to play Suzie was perfect for the role. Perhaps those two things are true, but the movie fell extremely short of phenomenal. On a scale from one to ten I'd have to give it a three, and that's being generous.

The best parts of the book were missing from the movie. The parts that made the book so poignant and heart rendering were gone. In the place where these important factors that made the book a best seller were computer graphic images of the girls heaven. We could have used a little less graphic imagery and a lot more story.

I'm well aware how difficult it is to put a book into a movie without making the movie extremely long, but in this case they would have had a lot more storyline if they had forgone the imagery.

My best advice is to read the book and forget the movie.

Can there be forgiveness?

I was watching a movie the other day in which a marriage of 20 years was broken because a man had started an affair with another woman. At lunch one day he told his wife that they had been living a lie and confessed to the affair. Why? Because he wanted to be with the other woman.

The wife was dumbfounded, as well she might be. This came at her from out of the blue. But the words he spoke next hit me:

"I won't give her up. It's non-negotiable."

Now I went through 18 years of marriage the first go round. I tried and tried to do everything from emoting to meditating to trying to bring back the passion and nothing worked. The main reason was because I didn't have cooperation. It took two of us to make a marriage and it would take two of us to succeed.

Unlike this woman I didn't have a worry about him having an affair with anyone...it was more like him having an affair with his hobbies. I came in third in his life and for me that wasn't acceptable. I couldn't live that way no matter how hard I tried. I finally gave up, which wasn't easy. I don't take vows and promises lightly.

In the movie the man realizes that the wife is the only woman he really loves. Life isn't as good without her. My ex said something along those lines too, that he realized what he had only after it was gone. She forgave him and took him back; I didn't.

I would think that if my current husband had an affair that I could forgive him. I would think that if we were able to discuss it and work through it the love would overcome the feeling of betrayal and that maybe I could understand. The difference is that we share in what happened together.

The first time around I wasn't given a choice. I was cut out completely and spent hours at night roaming the house crying. When I tried to talk to him about things he was too tired to talk or he turned things around to where I was at fault. That, my friends, is not communication.

This time around I know that I have love in my life. I feel loved and I feel appreciated. That, I believe, is what makes the difference.

10 Rainy Day Activities to Do With Kids

I love having kids. Being with my children brings me some of the most vibrant and fantastic times in my entire life. They are funny, witty, and charming characters that make life brighter. Kids are very active too. They constantly want to do and try new things. So, as a parent you have to be prepared for those times when they need help keeping entertained.

Some activities that have worked well with my kids include:

1. Make your own pizza. This is an inexpensive, but messy activity. They absolutely love the chance to be creative with their food. We buy the little packages of pizza dough, a jar of pizza sauce, mozzarella cheese and then use whatever else we happen to have that they think will look and taste good. (Hint: This is also a good activity to do when you have friends staying over night.)

2. Movie day or night. Here we have chores that we give the kids. They earn play money for each of their chores. After chores are done and the movie is ready to play they can buy treats at our in-home concession with the money they’ve earned just like at a movie theater. The chores help keep them busy and it also gets the house cleaned up a bit before they turn around to destroy it once more. This activity is great, because it gives them a sense of earning and what that means.

3. Theater Acting. I know that not all children love to read, but mine do. We take the books a bit further. We sometimes dress up (yes, even boys like to dress up and be goofy) like book characters and then we take parts from a story and act it out. I think that they enjoy seeing Mom dress up silly as much as they like the interaction.

4. Mad Science. I don’t mind getting dirty, and neither do my kids. Sometimes I think they thrive on dirt more then they do on food. So, we find science experiments to try at home. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t. It doesn’t matter what the result is because we have a lot of fun just trying them out. I do recommend that if you are making lava you have lots of paper towels ready.

5. Texture Painting. This was a blast when we did this one. I had canvas board that I keep in order for them to paint when they are feeling their own creative urge. One time we made some clay like material to put on the canvas and we textured it with various household objects like a comb, fork, spoon, thimble, and anything else that struck our fancy. Once the clay-like material dried we painted over the work with acrylic paints. The paintings not only turned out fantastic, the kids were very proud of their creative works.

6. Odd Games. I love odd things, and so do kids. I have, over time, bought some very obscure titled games like Munchkin, Fluxx, and Hex Hex. We spend some time playing the games and changing the rules every once in a while to make the game more interesting. The kids love making up their own rules to the games we play, but Fluxx allows rule changing through the game anyway.

7. Photo Play. Digital cameras are great tools to use and help kids be creative. There are some free programs where they can upload their photos and change them and make them funny or artistic. Granted very small children might have difficulty with this activity, but my 9 year old has been using his digital camera since he was 7. Let them pose you or the pets in any way they want and then give them creative authority to manipulate the pictures. Online programs like Picnik are great. You can even make movies with Windows Movie Maker with pictures and sound. It's a lot of fun.

8. Spooky Story Time. When we have a thunder storm we like to have a scary story time, even though the stories end up not being all that scary. We have snacks like s’mores and snuggle up on the bed or in front of the fire place. I start the story and then we each take a round as to what happens next. By the end of the store we are all laughing.

9. Group exercise. We spend some time turning on the tunes and then exercising. Mom needs it, the kids just love doing it and trying to keep up. They also enjoy doing tandem sit-ups: this is where you hold hands and as one goes backward the other goes forward.

10. Make Your Own Kind of Music. Everyone has cans, spoons, and empty oatmeal containers around. Be creative and find things that you can put in them. Decorate the instruments and then have fun creating your own kind of music. You can use string or rubber bands to make guitars, just be careful in case they snap.

Remember, it doesn’t have to be a rainy day to have fun with your kids. They grow up very fast. Enjoy them while you can.

Taken

Tonight we went on a double date and saw the movie "Taken" which deals with the subject of human trafficking. The movie was very good and kept us on the edge of our seat. It was great to see a parent be able to beat up a slew of bad guys and save his daughter, although it was a bit disconcerting to see he wasn't the least bit concerned with other people's daughters and their safe return. You'd think someone that had lost his little girl would have had a bit more compassion, but hey, he saved his girl and it was great.

I would like to think that if anyone ever took my children that I would love to be able to save them like that. I don't, however, have the same skill sets this guy has. Instead of taking guns and shooting the enemy I would be forced to feed them to death. For some reason it just doesn't feel that would be nearly as effective.

It doesn't get better than this.

Today was freezing and snowy. The streets were slick, yet filled with brave drivers daring the snow to try to keep them homebound.

Sleep deprived I was one that ventured into the white mass of slippery chill with my best friend, Brenda, who was not to be daunted by freezing temperatures and invisible streets. Her heart was set on getting a Wii Fit, which are evidently hard to find here. She was so intent on this task that she was willing to drive 60 miles round trip to make the acquisition to Wal-Mart in Berlin, Wisconsin. The only faux pas we had was in Oshkosh on the return home when the car decided to careen into a curb. The curb won.

After finally making it home I decided to take the boys and the hubby out to a movie. The theater in Menasha has cheap seats and food. The food isn't the greatest, but it's not the worse either. A waitress actually comes and brings food to you so that you don't have to miss the movie.

We watched "Bedtime Stories," which turned out to be cute, much to my surprise. However the best part of the movie was snuggling next to my husband and listening to the boys snigger at the funny parts.

In spite of the cold outside, the moment was very warm and makes one forget the chill of the night.