In Memory ....

 Yes.  I put off writing this last post on my trip to New York City. It isn't because I didn't know what to say but because what I saw there hit me so profoundly.
Coming back from the Statue of Liberty, which is much smaller than I expected, I saw this piece of art. I was mesmerized by it because it looked so damaged. I couldn't imagine why someone would make something so massive and deliberately try to destroy it. Then I saw the plaque which explained what it was exactly. I'll share those pictures here with you.
While Brenda spent time getting a character portrait done I walked around the statue inspecting every piece of it. This piece had stood outside the World Trade Center for years. The damage that you see came from the attack where thousands lost their lives, including the children in the daycare center. The magnitude of it hit me as I looked it over. Tears started coming from my eyes as I felt for the families that must look at this and know how horrendous and forceful the attack against their loved ones had been. It also serves as a reminder to those that survived at the miracle of being able to withstand something that was able to bend and blast steel. Yet this piece remains as a constant reminder in the city. An eternal flame has been ignited to serve as a light for those who were lost.

 The fact that it still stands spoke volumes to me. Even after an attack the statue stands proud. It was not torn apart for scrap or crippled enough where it could not sit upright. It speaks to us about being able to continue after adversity and remember who and what we are. We may have been attacked but we were able to continue and prosper. We lost many but we stood together in sorrow and faced our fears as a whole. We did not forget or hide it under the rug but allow it to remain in our hearts. We may be scarred but we are not damaged beyond repair.

Near here you will find the other statue that is supposed to represent those people that came to this country to seek refuge. As they entered they were able to see the lady holding the light that led them to a land of opportunity. To me it looks as if it is a group of people suffering and I do not see any type of joy in the work. As it faces toward "The Sphere," for me, it was as if they were crying and lamenting for those that were lost as well.

The one thing I know for certain is that I shall never forget. I hope no one else does either, because if they do they open themselves up to more heart ache and may begin to forget what this country has stood for since our independence.

Hints for Marriage and Relationships in the New Year

No one wants to start the New Year on a bad note. If you are in a relationship or married you definitely want things to be happy and go smoothly. So here's a few hints for those in relationships for the New Year that correlate with our new techie lifestyles:

1. Put down the computer! - How much time do you spend on the computer? Play games? Watch movies? Blog? Chat? Get on facebook and myspace? Take time away from the computer and spend some time EVERY DAY with your partner. Even if you just snuggle on the couch and hold each other while a bad rerun is playing it's better than keeping your hands on the keyboard and chit chatting with them. Take an hour or thirty minutes and give each other attention. Having a computer in the bedroom is just as bad as having a television in the bedroom. It's better to read a book and snuggle than it is to hold a large piece of plastic in your lap and read. That large piece of plastic makes it harder for your partner to get near you.

2. Don't air your dirty laundry on sites! - Okay, it's addicting and fun, but seriously. You don't have to air all your dirty laundry about your spouse online. Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter are not the best places to talk crap about people. Once there the words never go away but are forever available for the world to see in cyberspace... even after kisses and forgiveness has been done.

3. Quit hooking up with people on websites! - Online chatting and dating are becoming real problems. It takes us back to number 1 too. Why are you spending time flirting and having online sex talks with people when you have a real person right there in your home? Hello? Maybe this is one reason you are having problems, genius. And you think you're being sneaky? Think again. Did you know that around 25% of divorces today have named facebook as a reason for being divorced? You will be found out. So, instead of spending time having pretend sex with a person online, try the real thing with a real person that lives with you. Actually talking to them and having relations with them might fix some of your problems.

4. Make a date night at least once per month! - Yes, I do realize that things get busy, but with all the new time you are making by putting down the computer and actually looking at the life you have around you you can make time to actually take out your siggie. (*siggie = significant other) It's great to reconnect and help develop some of that waning romance. Take turns picking out the date and don't be afraid to be creative and try new things.

5. Go to bed at the same time! - Don't let your partner go to bed before or after you do. Make it a routine to go to bed together. Spend a few minutes sharing ideas for the new days or just sharing thoughts. You might be surprised to see what happens. It could be the very thing you need to revamp that sex life.

6. Don't lie to each other! - Even if it's little white lies it ain't good, Bucko. You can skim the truth but eventually it's going to come out. If you don't share what's wrong they can't help and vice versa. Part of being in a relationship is being able to share. If you have a crush on someone bring it out in the open and maybe it won't be such a problem because holding it in only romanticizes it. Bringing it out in the open may actually help you get over it.

7. Don't blow off the handle! - Especially if he/she is sharing with you. If they do have a secret crush and they are bringing it to your attention it means they trust you to be able to handle it. Take things in stride. Remember, once you lose your temper you've lost the argument. You can't have a conversation if you're yelling and anger only causes hurtful things to be said. Take some time to calm down and then discuss things. Be aware, be patient, and try to see the other person's point of view.

We'll stop at lucky number seven. Hope you all find that your love is grand in the coming year!

My Favorite Imo

I absolutely love learning about different cultures. One of the main reasons could be because of my background. My biological mother came here from Italy and passed away when I was 9. I still miss her. My father remarried when I was 10 to my present mother, whom is Korean, and one of the most remarkable women anyone could ever know.

Needless to say my background was fraught with difficulties and complications that could fill a novel. Most people would swear I had to be lying. However, it is what it is and it made me who I am. Though I would never wish what I lived through on anyone else difficulties made me stronger.

This morning I was thinking about my Imo Moon Ja. When I was a young girl I thought she was one of the most beautiful people I had ever met. She had the kindest soul and the most upbeat spirit. Yet often times she was sad.

In Seoul she had been a professor of Korean at the university. In the US she was nothing more than another person coming to the US trying to fit in. I remember her crying one night saying that people in the US treated her as if she were stupid because she wasn't proficient in English. They felt that because she couldn't express herself in English that she had to be ignorant and treated her that way. She was not happy. I know that Imo Moon Ja was far from stupid. She had a world of knowledge tucked away in her brain. In reality it was those that couldn't see or understand the intelligence that was there that were lacking in brain power.

Imo used to spend a lot of time with me. She would teach me Korean words and gave me a Korean name. She was very energetic and loving. I knew that when she married my Uncle P.D., who was also Korean as well as a very gifted artist, that they would have wonderfully brilliant children. I was right. They had three, two girls and a boy.

I was sad when they all moved to Seattle. I would truly miss her. Uncle P.D. had created beautiful works of art and had a showing in the Corcoran Gallery of Art in DC. He was well read and was headed for greatness. His talent is what inspired me to start painting.

Sadly not long after they left Uncle PD passed away. Imo Moon Ja did not take it well. It was like part of her soul had been ripped away. She came back to stay with us for a while. I wanted so much to take away her pain, but no one could. I remember laying with her sometimes trying to comfort her. She had literally lost a part of herself. I think her saving grace was having her children. But life for her from then on was going to be turbulent and hard. She persevered.

Her ability to overcome every obstacle she came across is what has inspired me in my own life. Because of Imo Moon Ja I know that regardless of what happens we can make it in life. Even when the worst possible thing might happen you can move on.

Imo Moon Ja never remarried, but she devoted everything she had into raising her children. I think it's paid off. They are all gifted, charming, and successful. Each one has her heart of gold. They all love her completely and understand her little idiosyncrasies.

Imo Moon Ja was a major factor in how I grew up and how I saw the world.

So, Imo, kamsahamnida. Saranghae.