Hints for Marriage and Relationships in the New Year

No one wants to start the New Year on a bad note. If you are in a relationship or married you definitely want things to be happy and go smoothly. So here's a few hints for those in relationships for the New Year that correlate with our new techie lifestyles:

1. Put down the computer! - How much time do you spend on the computer? Play games? Watch movies? Blog? Chat? Get on facebook and myspace? Take time away from the computer and spend some time EVERY DAY with your partner. Even if you just snuggle on the couch and hold each other while a bad rerun is playing it's better than keeping your hands on the keyboard and chit chatting with them. Take an hour or thirty minutes and give each other attention. Having a computer in the bedroom is just as bad as having a television in the bedroom. It's better to read a book and snuggle than it is to hold a large piece of plastic in your lap and read. That large piece of plastic makes it harder for your partner to get near you.

2. Don't air your dirty laundry on sites! - Okay, it's addicting and fun, but seriously. You don't have to air all your dirty laundry about your spouse online. Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter are not the best places to talk crap about people. Once there the words never go away but are forever available for the world to see in cyberspace... even after kisses and forgiveness has been done.

3. Quit hooking up with people on websites! - Online chatting and dating are becoming real problems. It takes us back to number 1 too. Why are you spending time flirting and having online sex talks with people when you have a real person right there in your home? Hello? Maybe this is one reason you are having problems, genius. And you think you're being sneaky? Think again. Did you know that around 25% of divorces today have named facebook as a reason for being divorced? You will be found out. So, instead of spending time having pretend sex with a person online, try the real thing with a real person that lives with you. Actually talking to them and having relations with them might fix some of your problems.

4. Make a date night at least once per month! - Yes, I do realize that things get busy, but with all the new time you are making by putting down the computer and actually looking at the life you have around you you can make time to actually take out your siggie. (*siggie = significant other) It's great to reconnect and help develop some of that waning romance. Take turns picking out the date and don't be afraid to be creative and try new things.

5. Go to bed at the same time! - Don't let your partner go to bed before or after you do. Make it a routine to go to bed together. Spend a few minutes sharing ideas for the new days or just sharing thoughts. You might be surprised to see what happens. It could be the very thing you need to revamp that sex life.

6. Don't lie to each other! - Even if it's little white lies it ain't good, Bucko. You can skim the truth but eventually it's going to come out. If you don't share what's wrong they can't help and vice versa. Part of being in a relationship is being able to share. If you have a crush on someone bring it out in the open and maybe it won't be such a problem because holding it in only romanticizes it. Bringing it out in the open may actually help you get over it.

7. Don't blow off the handle! - Especially if he/she is sharing with you. If they do have a secret crush and they are bringing it to your attention it means they trust you to be able to handle it. Take things in stride. Remember, once you lose your temper you've lost the argument. You can't have a conversation if you're yelling and anger only causes hurtful things to be said. Take some time to calm down and then discuss things. Be aware, be patient, and try to see the other person's point of view.

We'll stop at lucky number seven. Hope you all find that your love is grand in the coming year!

The Big Brother 11 Downfall

This photo depicts Big Brother 11 characters Natalie, Jesse, and Chima.

I have been a fan of Big Brother from the beginning. It's a CBS reality show that has very little to do with actual reality. No one that is going to be locked in a house together in real life would have prizes raining down on their heads. The only reality there is the conniving and back-stabbing that people do in real life, or perhaps the making of a new friendship or quick hook-up.

Every season has a favorite house mate. Sometimes the favorites are fun and charismatic, and sometimes they are just super hot people that make us tune in because we like looking at them. This season Jeff was our eye candy. He was also the person that mostly kept his word. The only time he went back on it was when he became confused and worried that he was being lied to. Not a good thing to do - seconding guessing oneself. But he was human. His other faux pas was that he smoked. Despite his bad habits of cussing, smoking, and bending he had most of the audience mesmerized with his chivalry toward his beautiful and sweet housemate, Jordan. Now Jeff has been evicted from the house and many loyal viewers have quit watching. Why? I can only answer for myself.

Viewers prayed for a divine intervention for Jeff to stay in the house. Many were hoping that Pandora's Box had hope left for him. It didn't happen. Jeff received the first standing ovation of the audience as he departed, and he departed with a smile that could melt a woman's heart and reminded us why we loved this guy so much.

Well, the honest reason I've quit watching this season is because I became a bit disgusted with the reason Jeff went home. Natalie, a 24 year old young woman, set her sights on the prize and has ridden the coattails of other contestants the entire way through the game. She has no redeeming qualities that I can find. She is not charismatic, she is not cute or pretty, and she is not, by a long shot, concerned with hygiene. The entire game she has depended on other people to pull her through, and they haven't disappointed her. Her claim to fame is that she can lie and she does it with ease and no conscious. "Lie and then never admit to lying," she told one of her house mates. It's all fine in order to get your way.

This season had more people that the audience hated then any other season, all aligned with Natalie. The season's antagonists were Jesse, the egomaniac who even wears shirts with his own image; Chima, the shrew who insisted she have her way and ultimately was asked to leave; Ronnie, the rat, who had no redeeming qualities to anyone except Jesse, Chima, and Natalie. Ronnie was the perfect friend for Natalie because he also had very little use for the truth. Most of the audience cheered and threw parties when he left the house.

I hate to see people that are so despicable prosper. I've seen too many people that have been able to lie and cheat and steal in order to get their way. I always wait for Karma to kick in and take over, but sometimes it just never seems to happen. So, for my part I can't watch this game any longer this season because of it.

I, personally, do not believe that we should promote bad behavior to others and reward people for it. There should be consequences for our actions. It's what I teach my children. It is ultimately the reason I'm done with this season of the show.

I don't expect people to follow my lead, but I do expect people to understand my decision.

Girly Contest

I follow Girlgetstrong on Twitter. She has a very interesting approach on a very real and important project: allowing women to feel empowered, especially those that have been used and abused.

I entered a contest they are having to win an ipod touch. Here is my entry:

Sensei is sensibly sexy.

Now, I'm sure being sexy is sensible, especially if you are doing it for yourself and not for someone else. The mistake that many people make is doing something to look better for others when we really need to be doing it for ourselves. Our self image is the most important thing, which is why many people fail when trying because they are so hard on themselves. We usually are not nearly as stringent on others.

It's great to try things and use things to help us reach our goals, but we need to do one thing first. We need to make sure that our reasons for doing weight loss are sound and self-induced not society induced. Then, when you start if you feel yourself fail ask yourself: "Is this cupcake worth as much to me as being healthy and thinner?" If the answer is yes, then eat it. If the answer is no, put it down and celebrate the essence of you.

So, how will I promote this? You'll find this on my blog... :)