Being a Mom is easy, Being my kid? Well, the jury is still out.

We all have our talents and our challenges in life. The one thing that I've always wanted to do since I was little was be a mom. I had practice on my little sisters. Although, I don't think it actually prepared me for real motherhood. But from the beginning of becoming a mom and having children I was linked to my kids. I dreamed about each one. My first born walked out of the hospital while being born telling the nurses to tell me he'd be back after he viewed the world. He is in the Army. My second child was talking to everyone right after birth. She said her first word at three months old. "Hi." She hasn't been quiet since. My third child, another boy, tried to turn his crib into a time machine. He wants to become an engineer. (Also, I'm beginning to think time travel may be possible.) The dream about my third child was totally different. In his dream we were sitting on a hill having a picnic together. According to the dream dictionary is prophetic of success and happiness. What more can you want for your child?

Now, if you ask any one of my children to describe me in one word I believe the consensus would be, "crazy." I believe that I have been branded this title unfairly, just for the record. I'm not crazy. (Of course my husband prefers the word "eccentric.") I'm just creative. I have a tendency to say things in, perhaps, unusual ways. It makes for a fun household. My children also know that I am a very hands on and engaged mom. I like to do things with them and for them. We spend quite a bit of time together. (As much as possible with my oldest since he lives in another state and has to take leave to visit.) The only problem with taking them places is that I may have a tiny bit of difficulty when it comes to directions.

I believe I inherited this trait from my own biological mother. I remember once when I was five years old, and my younger sister was three, that she stole the keys from my sleeping father to take us for an afternoon drive because she was bored. For some reason my father didn't let her drive. Perhaps it was because she didn't have a legal license to drive. More than likely, it was because he was afraid that she would get lost and never return home. After the incident, perhaps his fears were valid. We ended up in the middle of a golf course with her screaming "WEEEEEE!!!!" as she did donuts in the grass. My sister and I were having a grand time until the police stopped us. Even though I was young I was convinced we were going to jail. But my mother, quick to thinking, started babbling in Italian to an extremely frustrated officer. He just told her to go home, speaking what little Spanish he knew (which he obviously didn't realize was an entirely different language than my mother was speaking), "comprendez?"

You would think this would be one incident that would never be repeated. Unfortunately, that's what one gets for thinking. It is true that the sins of the mother are doomed upon the child. One night I was driving late to get to a camping spot in Oklahoma from Texas. Somehow I made a wrong turn. It just felt like it was the right turn. That's the thing about being directional impaired, you FEEL like you should be going a certain direction. Anyway, lo and behold, after going through a couple of bushes (I still don't know how they got in the road) I ended up on a golf course. My husband, who had very nicely been trying to tell me that he thought I might want to turn around, started laughing. He knew the story of my mother. Now my children had one of their own. Thanks to my husband, that is. Only one sleeping baby was in the car at the time. Of course I could just deny the entire episode and make them think is was one of his tall tales, but unfortunately, they know me too well.

Besides, even if they didn't the story with three out of the four in the car would do me in. After this, I think all credibility of being able to drive without difficulty might be a difficult sell.

We were driving about an hour from home a couple of years ago. My daughter was going with me, as she often does. (Since she has been an adult we have become great friends. Thank goodness her teenage years are behind us.) My two youngest sons in the back of the car. We started out well. Driving down the highway, onto the road in a city we have never been. I had done well. We were still in Wisconsin. (I should get bonus points for that at least.)

The trouble only came when we ran into a detour due to road construction. I had been depending on my handy dandy gps. She had failed me in the past, but she seemed to be behaving that day. She gave me an alternate route. I took it.

I became a bit suspicious as we rode onto a dirt road. The cattle gates on either side did make me raise an eyebrow, but I mean, surely I was heading in the right direction.

The road got a little bumpy. We found some nice greenery on the road. Some trees. And then we came to this extremely steep incline. I paused. Did I dare go down the incline to see if the road got better? It looked like maybe the gps was urging me to go that route. My youngest son in the back was scared. The road didn't look safe to him. My other two children were not very encouraging.

Against my better judgement I listened to them. We rounded the curve and ended up - in a soy bean field.

"Mom, you took us on a field trip!" my daughter exclaimed. I started laughing. I was laughing so hard it made it hard to think.

What to do, what to do? I turned around of course. I was very careful not to trample the van onto the well planted crop. It was tricky, but I managed. I was half Italian after all. Mario Andretti is able to take curves with no trouble due to his heritage, I'm sure.

My daughter suggested I go back to the main road. My sons agreed. I, according to them, had obviously not followed the directions very well. I disagreed. We had an alternative road left, didn't we?

I went back to the dirt road incline. It was steep. If it had been winter and we had skis we would have been set for an adventure. However, it was late Spring and sunny. The van would have to do.

As I started down the hill I hear screaming from the back seat.

"Mom don't! We're going to die!" yelled my youngest in fear.

However, I didn't hesitate. I took the incline. Miraculously we made it to the bottom of the incline and found - a tree. A very big tree. The scenery around us looked like something you would find on late night television. The place where serial killers take their victims to be buried and never seen again. We locked the doors. We carefully looked around - from inside the van. No one was visible wearing a white hockey mask. We were good.  We were also thankful it was daylight.

To this day I swear the gps was laughing at me.

However, we did manage to make it back up the hill without dying.

I went back out through the cattle gates and onto a paved road. We found our destination in the end.

A memory was made that day. I'm sure it is one that my children will remember about me like the one I remember about my own mother. The truly unfortunate part is only that it doesn't change their mind about thinking that I'm crazy. But that's okay. They love me and I adore them. That is what being a mom is all about.

(P.S. I was inspired to write this post for a contest in Mompact after my daughter wrote one.)

The Secret to a Happy Marriage

I've been unhappily married and happily married. Like most people I much prefer the latter. Who wouldn't?

I think those that base their marriage simply on the love factor might be making a mistake. Love is grand, but it's like constantly eating the same meat without adding any spice, garnish, potatoes, or vegetables. Eventually it's going to be boring and you're going to want to go out for a side dish and dessert.

Make sure you have someone you can share things with - a key here is communication. You shouldn't be with someone that is constantly misunderstanding you and doesn't respect you.

Another mistake many people make is when they believe that a baby can save their marriage. You might want to keep in mind that sexual relations change with pregnancy and years after a child is born. A study at Texas A & M University show that about 90% of couples lose some degree of satisfaction in sexual relations after the birth of a child. A spouse that was very sexually romantic before the birth of a child is more than likely going to have a very difficult time adjusting to parenthood. The study also showed that those couples that took the time to become friends and shared their ideas and thoughts had less difficulty with adjusting to parenthood.

So, what does this mean? It means don't rush into a relationship. Take the time to get to know and actually like one another. People that rush into a marriage due to passion and sexual satisfaction tend to not stay married and become bored with their relationship.

According to an article in CNN that uses this study and others:

1. Birth of children puts a strain on a marriage
2. Boredom in a marriage have long term affects on a relationship
3. Happier people are less like to be divorced

So, you might want to keep in mind that a happy person keeps a happier family. Yet, in the US alone 1 in 6 people in the US believe they suffer from depression.

Here are some Pasty hints for a happy marriage:

1. Talk to one another. Not just about the easy stuff. Talk about everything and really get to know each other. Brace yourself for the things that are tough and don't take everything that is said personally. Internalizing what is said is not really listening.

2. Do things together. Don't make excuses that you don't have time or anything else like "we don't have the money" or "what do we do with the kids." Find solutions and make it happen. Taking a walk in a park doesn't cost anything and friends, even parents of friends, will more than likely not mind watching the kids for an hour or so, especially if the deed is reciprocated.

3. Learn to play together and laugh together. Have fun. Forget the problems and things that keep you down. Worrying about things does not make them go away. Share your problems and find a productive and workable solution. Work toward your goals together as a couple. There should never be a martyr in a marriage.

Sometimes love just isn't enough. Having a good relationship is work, but it's very much worthwhile. When you are close to your partner every minute you are with each other is a memory in the making.

10 Rainy Day Activities to Do With Kids

I love having kids. Being with my children brings me some of the most vibrant and fantastic times in my entire life. They are funny, witty, and charming characters that make life brighter. Kids are very active too. They constantly want to do and try new things. So, as a parent you have to be prepared for those times when they need help keeping entertained.

Some activities that have worked well with my kids include:

1. Make your own pizza. This is an inexpensive, but messy activity. They absolutely love the chance to be creative with their food. We buy the little packages of pizza dough, a jar of pizza sauce, mozzarella cheese and then use whatever else we happen to have that they think will look and taste good. (Hint: This is also a good activity to do when you have friends staying over night.)

2. Movie day or night. Here we have chores that we give the kids. They earn play money for each of their chores. After chores are done and the movie is ready to play they can buy treats at our in-home concession with the money they’ve earned just like at a movie theater. The chores help keep them busy and it also gets the house cleaned up a bit before they turn around to destroy it once more. This activity is great, because it gives them a sense of earning and what that means.

3. Theater Acting. I know that not all children love to read, but mine do. We take the books a bit further. We sometimes dress up (yes, even boys like to dress up and be goofy) like book characters and then we take parts from a story and act it out. I think that they enjoy seeing Mom dress up silly as much as they like the interaction.

4. Mad Science. I don’t mind getting dirty, and neither do my kids. Sometimes I think they thrive on dirt more then they do on food. So, we find science experiments to try at home. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t. It doesn’t matter what the result is because we have a lot of fun just trying them out. I do recommend that if you are making lava you have lots of paper towels ready.

5. Texture Painting. This was a blast when we did this one. I had canvas board that I keep in order for them to paint when they are feeling their own creative urge. One time we made some clay like material to put on the canvas and we textured it with various household objects like a comb, fork, spoon, thimble, and anything else that struck our fancy. Once the clay-like material dried we painted over the work with acrylic paints. The paintings not only turned out fantastic, the kids were very proud of their creative works.

6. Odd Games. I love odd things, and so do kids. I have, over time, bought some very obscure titled games like Munchkin, Fluxx, and Hex Hex. We spend some time playing the games and changing the rules every once in a while to make the game more interesting. The kids love making up their own rules to the games we play, but Fluxx allows rule changing through the game anyway.

7. Photo Play. Digital cameras are great tools to use and help kids be creative. There are some free programs where they can upload their photos and change them and make them funny or artistic. Granted very small children might have difficulty with this activity, but my 9 year old has been using his digital camera since he was 7. Let them pose you or the pets in any way they want and then give them creative authority to manipulate the pictures. Online programs like Picnik are great. You can even make movies with Windows Movie Maker with pictures and sound. It's a lot of fun.

8. Spooky Story Time. When we have a thunder storm we like to have a scary story time, even though the stories end up not being all that scary. We have snacks like s’mores and snuggle up on the bed or in front of the fire place. I start the story and then we each take a round as to what happens next. By the end of the store we are all laughing.

9. Group exercise. We spend some time turning on the tunes and then exercising. Mom needs it, the kids just love doing it and trying to keep up. They also enjoy doing tandem sit-ups: this is where you hold hands and as one goes backward the other goes forward.

10. Make Your Own Kind of Music. Everyone has cans, spoons, and empty oatmeal containers around. Be creative and find things that you can put in them. Decorate the instruments and then have fun creating your own kind of music. You can use string or rubber bands to make guitars, just be careful in case they snap.

Remember, it doesn’t have to be a rainy day to have fun with your kids. They grow up very fast. Enjoy them while you can.