Raising Children When You're in Your 40's

My daughter

When I was told that I couldn't have children, I cried. Of course every time someone else tells me that I can't do something I try my best to prove them wrong. In this case I ended up having four great kids.

I was thinking today, after watching my daughter with her new born son, about how different I parented after having my second set of children. In my 20's I was much more high strung about the children. As they grew up I didn't have nearly the patience as I did with the second set. My two older ones will tell you that they were spanked growing up. My two younger ones will tell you they haven't been spanked. It's an entirely different way of raising children.

So is age the difference? It's not just the age. I went to college after having the first two. I studied to become and educator for children with learning differences. I was schooled in different types of behavior management. I understood more about what a child was going through as they grew older and the different stages of their development. I also changed my living situation.

My new grandson

What I do know is that each child is and individual. What may work on one child may not work on another. While visiting with my daughter and new grandson yesterday I teased her a bit. "Put the baby on a schedule if you don't like how often he's nursing," I smiled. She gave me an odd look and replied, "Yeah. That worked so well when we tried it coming home from the hospital. You try to tell him he can wait ten or fifteen more minutes to eat."

That was my point. Sometimes you just have to develop a system that works for both of you. I'm very proud of my daughter and her growing relationship with her own child. They are both amazing. She has read books on raising children and what you should and shouldn't do for infants, but in the long run she is developing her own parenting style - and it works.

My three sons

I have no doubt in my mind that her little guy will grow up to be a very loving, intelligent, and amusing young man just like his uncles. After all, his mother is doing a fantastic job.

Here's the Bzz on Trend Micro's Online Guardian

I am a BzzAgent and I was asked to check out Trend Micro Systems new Online Guardian Program. I was excited to do this one, to tell the truth. One reason is because at one time I had sneaky teenagers in my home. I know, no way, right? But yes, it happened. They were doing rather unsavory and unsafe things on the computer. Of course when confronted they denied it. Again, I know, a child lying to us? Unthinkable, right? But it happened. It must have been gremlins coming in and sneaking on the computer visiting porn sites that could bring computer viruses and other children hacking into their Facebook accounts and emails writing unsafe things to total strangers.

Like most parents we didn't want to call the children liars, but we didn't always have proof of what they were doing. With this program you can keep them from having to lie. You can see exactly what they are doing and curtail their activities. This program is even geared toward different age groups and allows the parents to give specific times they can be on the computer. You can even decide how long they can be on a website. It's super cool. Well, the kids might not think so, but your peace of mind will thank you.

 So my recommendation is that if you are a parent of  children that are accessing the internet you really need this program.

Color me Surprised!

Okay, I admit it. I read a blog claiming it was spoiler and Dancing with the Stars was rigged. It claimed that Chelsea Kane was going to win. Week after week it was as if the blog was coming true. Would they do that and rig the competition making us believe that our votes actually mattered?

In the end Hines Ward won. I loved watching both Kirstie Alley and Hines. Now the only thing that will make the entire thing perfect is for Hines to join the Green Bay Packers. Right now he plays for the Pittsburg Steelers, who are now having a flagrant foul rule named after them for their numerous illegal hits. Hines would be better off with the Packers, don't you think?  :)

Winter vs. Spring

Today is rather a gloomy day. It is supposed to be Spring, but it's like Winter won't let go and is clinging to the Earth for dear life. It is as if when Spring comes Winter will still have it's icy fingers embedded somewhere keeping a chill in the air so it won't be forgotten. 

Stupidity Not Racism

The news today was regarding an elderly Republican party politician in California, Marilyn Davenport, forwarding an email she received of President Obama as a baby chimp. It was, according to Davenport, sent as a joke as to why Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

Of course now people are up in arms saying that this is a racist thing, to which Ms. Davenport says that she didn't even consider him as being "half-black."

It's not the first time that politics turn ugly. Several unkind depictions have been made by high ranking Republican black politicians such as Condoleezza Rice  and Colin Powell. When one side doesn't like another it seems that they don't use intelligent boundaries before making unkind depictions.

Bush has been toted as an ape as well by Democrats. However, it doesn't seem to be as much of a problem depicting him as an ape as it does Obama. Personally, I find them all offensive.

"Beware the beast Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of death."

The entire situation is, well, to be honest, quite stupid. There is no need to determine if Obama has a birth certificate. At this point and time that is a moot point. He is our president. Even if you don't agree with all of his politics he deserves a certain amount of courtesy and respect because the majority of us elected him into office. It was the same with Bush. Besides, all of these reek of party politics. There is no intelligence in either case of the political "monkeydom."

As far as racism goes, the fact that Obama is indeed "half black" doesn't mean a thing. I could care less if he were 100% black or even Chinese-American or Native American. It's not the race that matters, it's how they do their job.

 In 2011 we don't have separate water fountains, different seats on the bus, nor do we have separate bathrooms. We make our own racism by continuing to do stupid crap like photo shopping animal pictures to make unkind remarks about people that we looked up to enough to elect into a public office. 

In my opinion this is a stupidity problem, not a racial problem. Grow up. 

Wisconsin Voting War - Prosser Vs. Kloppenburg

It was supposed to be a simple non-partisan election for a ten year term for a Supreme Court Judge in Wisconsin. Ten years ago David Prosser ran unopposed. Life was simple. Then changes were made and the office was being looked at more crucially as a potential area for lawmakers to have an influence. Then steps in Joanne Kloppenburg who on one hand says she won't put her personal opinions in her work, and yet on her facebook page already promotes her agenda of change.  But aren't judges supposed to be impartial? And is it really non-partisan if they hit each other via ad campaigns for their political preferences?

A judge is supposed to look at the facts and figures, determine the legality of the issues, and follow the spirit of the constitution for which the body represents. We shouldn't have to worry if a judge is swayed by his/her own personal opinions or beliefs, although it does seem to lean in that direction at times. It doesn't make for a very secure and untainted judicial system when it does.

As most people know incumbents normally have an edge over newcomers in a race. We can see in this particular heated race that David Prosser has the judicial experience necessary to do the job, after all he's been doing the job since 1988. In 1988 Joanne Kloppenburg was just graduating from the University of Wisconsin Law School. She now works as an Assistant Attorney General and has argued in front of the Wisconsin Supreme Court.

However, it is not the job experience, education, or judicial record that people seemed to be voting on in this particular election. Record turnouts showed that Wisconsin voters felt that much more was at stake - namely the Wisconsin budget reform bill waiting in Democratic limbo to be judged by the courts.

Kloppenburg and her supporters toted Prosser as a Scott Walker stamp in their ad campaigns to incite their voters to dethrone his position. Prosser's campaign indicated that Kloppenburg was a corporate supporter and her courtroom experience was geared against the average Joe and in favor of big money. So far this doesn't sound very unbiased. It very much has the taste of two very distinct political parties - Republicans and Democrats.

So, with the illusion of a non-partisan race out of the way we come to the tallying of the votes. It was an exciting race with both teams coming out of the gates strong. One would nose ahead and then lose a bit of steam as the other loped slightly ahead toward the finish line. As they neared the gates and passed the end of the line it was declared a photo finish. Thursday morning results showed Prosser ahead by almost 800 votes. Thursday evening Kloppenburg was ahead by 200 votes. She then proclaimed victory, while Prosser declined to concede.

Just when you think that things can't be any more exciting in jumps a little ole county clerk from Waukesha County with an "oopsie." Seems that working late nights counting and tallying votes had taken a toll on the workers there. A little oversight of not including the city of Brookfield's votes made another huge difference in the election. Over 14,000 votes were not given to the AP for their election results. Here we find over 10,000 votes for Prosser and over 3,000 votes for Kloppenburg.  And the crowds begin to roar - and not with cheers of victory, but with groans of contention.

Now we have accusations of conspiracy. The clerk's background becomes a bone of contention. She is a Republican after all, doesn't her viewpoint have to be tainted?

Now, take into consideration that the numbers were found during the mandated canvass of the votes. Also that the Vice Chair of the Waukesha County Democratic Party, Ramona Kitzinger, was there during the entire canvass process and assured everyone that she assures the numbers are now correct in that county. The city of Brookfield had indeed been omitted from the original tally.

Even with the Democratic Party assurance it seems that some voters are still yelling foul. They don't understand that an error like this is not uncommon and is the reason that a canvass is required after elections. If this had been the same non-partisan elections of the past no one would have even known. However this is not the case.

So let's take a small look at Brookfield and deem if it is possible for Prosser to have overtaken Kloppenburg in the election.

1.  The population of Brookfield is almost 40,000 - more than enough to account for the number of votes
2. The median age of the residents is 42.5 years of age - definitely most residents seem to be of voting age.
3. The average income for residents in this city is over $80,000 per year - and it is noted that this city is predominantly Republican and conservative.

So, looking at the facts it is not surprising that the city of Brookfield would hold positive results for Prosser in this election. It would seem that Kloppenburg's declaration of victory was a bit premature, especially with the fact that with only a mere 200 vote lead the results were going to be headed toward a recount.

When you look at the facts of the election in the entirety it's very difficult to see where a conspiracy would come into play. It would be almost impossible to envision a county clerk donning all black clothing to sneak into her own office with a flashlight giggling in front of the low light of a computer to have her way with the votes. Tantalizing as that erroneous vision may be, there are records and trails that can be followed to see that nothing nefarious was done. People make mistakes. It happens.

The truly unfortunate part of this entire process was that we turned what should have been an unbiased race for a Supreme Court Judge into a partisan political fiasco. (Say that five times fast.)

Hena Akhter - Taking Things Too Far

Hena (inset) and Hena's mother, 

24.2. The fornicatress and the fornicator – flog each of them with a hundred stripes; and do not let pity for them hold you back from carrying out God's law, if you truly believe in God and the Last Day; and let a group of believers witness their punishment. (The Miraculous Quran)

Hena Akhter was only 14 years old. She was on outside going to the toilet when she was, according to testimony from her sister, gagged, drug to another location, and then raped by a married cousin. The wife, hearing noises, found the two. She was furious. In her rage she drug the girl into her home then beat her and trampled upon her. She then demanded justice accusing the girl of being a fornicator.

The man in question, in his forties, had been reported for harassing the girl before this incident. Hena's father had gone to the authorities to complain in an effort to protect his youngest daughter. The elders ordered the culprit, Mahbub Khan, to pay the family $1,000. However, other family members asked for forgiveness since he was related. Hena's father showed mercy and forgave the debt.

Mahbub Khan did not show the same mercy to Hena, nor did the court. Even upon hearing from Hena's family that the girl was innocent and a victim, both were sentenced by the imam to be flogged. Somehow Mahbub managed to get away and only received three or four hits. Hena was not as lucky. After about 70 hits the girl fell and did not get back up. She spent a week in the hospital suffering before she died. The entire time she proclaimed her innocence.

Many may look at this and blame the Muslim relgion, but the truth is that months before this practice, sharia, was outlawed. However many small villages are still practicing what many, including myself, consider a barbaric practice. It is something many of us would never condone nor understand.

This family lived in a village in Bangladesh surrounded by rice paddies and vegetable fields. Five of them shared a home put together by corrugated tin and rotten wood. The survived on the income of day laborers working the fields. Their lives were simple.

Nothing for them is simple now. The tragic death of their daughter has brought international attention to them and their tiny village. An investigation, an exhumation of the body, and several arrests, including that of Mahbub Khan, has rocked the very core of their village and the beliefs of the people that live there.

This story brings tears to my eyes. But before we thank whatever powers that be we believe in that we do not practice such barbaric things here in the US let's keep in mind that two young girls, both 11 years of age, were gang raped. One in Texas and the other in California.

The child in California was lured into the situation by another young girl where she knew that boys from a gang were waiting for her to bring them a victim. It was not a religious practice, but more like an initiation into the gang. An insidious act to prove domination and power over the innocent.

The child in Texas was taken into an abandoned trailer and raped by several young men of various ages. The horrible thing is that this 11 year old child is being blamed by some as "asking for it." They insinuate that this young girl is not innocent, she looks older than 11. The father responded that "she has a child's mind."

That shouldn't even have to be explained. Regardless of how mature this child looks, no one can honestly believe she asked for 18 boys/men to do something like this to her. It's beyond comprehension how someone, even a relative, can make excuses for such a horrible act. Blaming the victim shows no remorse for the actions and also displays a severe lack of compassion.

This child, after being raped, was taken from her home, placed in foster care in an entirely different location because she was then being subjected to death threats. She hadn't suffered enough?

We can sit around and point fingers at the world and discuss how atrocious things are in those communities, but let's look at what we have next door as well.

No matter how you slice this each of these young women were innocent victims. A man does not have the right to molest a child under any circumstance for any reason. Those who victimize children in a group are simply cowards. What they did was just as barbaric as the crime and punishment done to Hena Akhter.

Shame to all of you that blame the children.