Mom Can't Watch Neighbors Kids in MI? Seriously, people.

As a mother finding out that a parent who was helping out some neighbor moms by making sure their children got onto the bus safely was threatened with jail time floored me. They had to be kidding, right? But no, they weren't.

She was doing this as a good parent to ensure that kids were safe. She took no money, but her reward was another neighbor complaining that for less than an hour this woman was watching children without a license. It's insane. What is up with this tattle-telling neighbor and what kind of archaic law do they have on the books.

According to the law:

A home can qualify as a child care operation if one to seven minor children -- all unrelated to the caregivers -- receive care and supervision there for less than 24 hours a day and for more than four weeks in a year.

In my humble opinion, the neighbor complaining must not have kids. It could even be a pedophile wanting to make sure they have easier access to the kids. Regardless, for the state to try and threaten a woman doing an act of kindness is ridiculous.

The law, which is so poorly written and which should have never been allowed on the books to begin with, could prohibit parents from having sleep overs or even having kids playing with each other in private homes. Parents would not be able to have friends watch their children for a night out.

I'm not the only one that found this situation bizarre, MI State Rep. Brian Calley, , said "agency officials, in his view, were interpreting a 36-year-old statute regulating day care centers more broadly than necessary." When trying to help out the parent in question he was told that this was a "legal matter." The state of Michigan has officially decided that the law and the proposed punishment of the mother was over the top. They are planning on working on amending the law.

I say, leave the parents alone here. I would be grateful to have someone that would look out for the safety of my children if I had to work. Them threatening a woman for keeping children safe is ludicrous.

My Nuclear Family

Every day I watch as my boys play with their father and am so grateful that they all love each other so much. It's a wonderful and amazing thing, even when they get a little carried away and you have to start moving expensive things to keep them from becoming victims of masculine horseplay.

Looking at the boys and their father no one would guess that one of them was not his biological child. Nothing he says or does shows a difference between the boys. I don't believe in my heart that he actually thinks of one as his step-son, but honestly loves him just as much as if he shared his DNA. In our family we believe that heart plays a much more important role than blood because heart is what you need in order to make a family successful.

I love my husband, not just because he has this remarkable way of giving all of us the love and support that we need, but because he loves fully and honestly. When someone says that his boys look just like him he smiles with great pride. He's amazing.

The Face of a Killer

Most of us have heard about the body of a small boy found in the sandbox in Albuquerque, NM. It was beyond tragic that a child was murdered and left where other children could potentially find him.

This woman had an opportunity to do the right thing and change her mind, but she chose not to. I cannot even imagine the horror that this poor child went through.

According to CNN:

"She placed her hand over her son's mouth and nose and suffocated him. She had second thoughts about what she did. She performed CPR on her son, brought him back to life and then decided to go forward with that original act she had started to commit," Schultz said.

"What makes this story especially sad is, when asked the reason why she took Ty's life, Tiffany said that she did not want him to grow up with no one caring about him, the same way that she had grown up where nobody had cared about her."


Being a mother I cannot even fathom how a person that is brings a life into the world and assumes the responsibility of nurturing and caring can possibly move to murder and hatred.

Sixteen Year Old Invaded by Body Snatchers

I think my sixteen year old has been invaded by body snatchers. Why? Because I know for a fact I didn't raise this child that is so surly and discontent. Her Ipod broke that she received for Christmas. Things happen. She wanted me to send it back and get a new one to replace it since it should still be under warranty. Of course it looks as if it's been out on the battlefield and hit by a couple of sniper rounds, but hey, I'm sure the guys over at Apple wouldn't notice, right? When I told her that I didn't think that the abuse was covered by warranty she goes storming off and slamming doors. Not a pretty sight. She didn't even wait for me to tell her I'd buy her another MP3 player. Nopers. She would much rather go and let the demons in her roar.

Then she comes back and tells me that she didn't "abuse" the Ipod. It wasn't her fault that the cord was being held together with duct tape. Millions of kids around the globe have this problem with their Ipod's, it's just an Ipod problem. Okay then. Evidently my Ipod, her dad's Ipod, and her 9 year old brother's Ipod are immune because it is a disease they only contract from teenagers. Whew. Good thing for me, huh?

I remember the other day I watched a movie called "The Secret"(no, not the one where you think about what you want in life and get it) where a father loses his wife in an accident and she comes back in the daughter's body. Kind of creepy, but there was one really interesting line. The mother, speaking through the daughter says something like "I didn't remember what it was like to be sixteen. You have all these hormones running through you going crazy. You feel horny, angry, and sad all at the same time and you have no idea what you want."

So, I guess instead of turning my daughter over to the government for alien experimentation I'll keep her, at least for another couple of years. I'll listen to her door slamming and yelling and crying and remember... my mother was so lucky I wasn't like this when I was 16.

Girls and Their Daddies

I was watching a show last week called Being Erica where she is scooted back in time to right wrongs she's done in her past. In this particular show it showed the difficulties she was having with her family life. Her sister was angry with Erica, Erica was angry with her mother, Erica's mother was angry with her ex-husband. Erica believed that her mother was a shrew to her father and that the divorce was totally her mother's fault. Later when she is whisked back in time she discovers her father was having an affair. Her mother never wanted her or her sister to find out. She would rather have her girls think she was a horrible person then to have them hate their father.

When I went through my divorce my daughter had similar feelings toward me. It was very difficult for me, but I never wanted to say a negative thing about her father. The problems that I had in my marriage, I felt, should not influence the relationship the children had with their father. It wasn't easy. So many times I wanted to say something so I wouldn't be the bad guy. There are so many things that other people don't know, and my ex didn't seem to have the same compulsion I had in making allegations or telling stories. Still, right is right and truth comes out in the long run.

Today I have a friend going through a divorce. She has two teenage daughters. The daughters say hateful things to her and blame her for the divorce. There are so many things that she could tell them but she doesn't want to influence them negatively. They support their father and want his love and attention. For them this is a very important thing. You can see them vying for his attention and approval. So why not Mom? Because deep down inside they know they have their mother's love. I believe that they feel safe expressing their anger and frustrations to her. Is it fair? Not in the least. But still, they will do whatever they can to please their father even if it breaks their mother's heart, which it does.

Not all mother's are as gracious as my friend. She is frustrated and hurt and wonders if she's doing the right thing. She's constantly doubting herself and feeling horrible because her heart is breaking not only from losing a spouse and a family unit, but she feels she has lost her daughters.

My experience has shown me that daughters tend to come back around. Eventually they see that Mom isn't Satan in disguise, she's human and flawed but she loves her children unconditionally. Daughter's may strive to be Daddy's Little Girl but it's Mom that is there for heart breaks and chocolate ice cream.

Given time my friend will find that her daughter's don't really hate her - they are just a bit selfish, like all other teenagers around the world. They are discovering and finding their way in life. One day when the blinders come off and the demon of confusion leaves their bodies they'll look over and say, "Mom? Is that you? I was wondering where you were."

Words Matter, But Heart Counts

I know that my Daddy loved me. He didn't have to; after all I wasn't his daughter through genetics, but by choice. He kept me with him even after my mother passed away. He never failed to tell me he loved me through his way of keeping me and taking care of me. A day didn't go by when I wasn't thankful to have a place to live with people that I knew cared about me.

It was a year after my mother died that he remarried. The woman was beautiful both inside and out. She didn't even balk about having a child from a previous marriage that wasn't his by blood. She treated me as her daughter from the time she walked into our home and to this very day.

I think one of my fondest memories was when I was leaving to go and visit my older sister and she said the words, "I love you, Pasty." I cried. Not because I was sad or unhappy that she cared for me, but because I knew exactly how much it took for her to say those words, and that she wouldn't have said them if she didn't mean them.

I learned a lot, I think, from the relationships I had with my parents. It was because of them that I found that it's not the blood that matters in a family but the heart.

So, in the spirit of those that taught me to love I try to extend that to my own children. My 16 year old may not be mine by blood but she is mine by heart. Like all of us she has her faults, but she fights them with anger and frustrations which cause her more harm then good.

I have faith that in the long run she'll learn to control those emotions. She actually took the time tonight to sit with me and discuss things. She listened. I'll have to say that it shows quite a bit of maturity for a 16 year old to actually take the time to hear what their mother has to say and actually think of ways to implement the ideas they give.

I can't take the credit. I had very good teachers.

So, thank you to all those people that take children in and love them. Take it from someone who knows - it makes a world of difference.