Getting Ready to Travel

A girlfriend and I are going on a trip to NYC for a couple of days.

I'm packing my suitcase and my 10 year old says, "Wow, Mom. You are taking a lot of stuff for 2 days. You are coming home, right?"

My fifteen year old, obviously wise beyond his years, answers, "She's a woman. You should see what they pack when they go for a week."

I feel so loved!

Surviving Thanksgiving

I truly must be a survivor. After going to Turkey and living through numerous taxi cab rides(in Turkey there are no speed limit signs, no one sees lane lines, stop light are not laws but merely recommendations, and traffic police are there only to collect money if they actually care about how you are driving, catching some kind of bug that my oldest daughter so kindly shared with me (thank you Sesame Street for "It's Nice to Share" idea that it gave to all my children growing up), and having five extra boys in the house and three extra girls in the house for our Thanksgiving holiday I realize I can survive almost anything. Even 2012.

My perplexity comes from our now 17 year old daughter whom decided that she didn't like having extra people in the house at all. She didn't even like having her paternal grandparents here. "It's not like they care at all about me," she said. My concern was that she spouted off with her grandfather standing directly in front of us.

Honestly I can understand how young boys might get on her nerves, not that they paid her much attention. They were loud and energetic, but that's how boys are supposed to be. However, I can't understand her disdain over her grandparents and her aunt. She was a bit miffed by the fact that her uncle couldn't remember her name, but hey, he's a guy. He's lucky to remember his own name at times, I'm sure.

I think what it boiled down to is that she wasn't the center of attention. She felt the boys were more important than she was. She also didn't like the fact that her grandmother brought up her natural mother and was talking about her. She hasn't acknowledged her in several years now and doesn't show signs of forgiving her for past transgressions yet. It's a very hard issue to come to terms with. I know several women that have "mother" problems that they never have gotten over.

I think it's tough being a teenage girl. You have all those hormones running rampant and no where to release them. You feel like you're lonely all the time even when people are in the house. No matter what you say you are misunderstood. You have to constantly watch what you wear and what you say. Boys, on the other hand, can pretty much wear whatever they want. If they don't shower and jump out of bed crumpled it's still cool. If a girl tries that they get snickered at all through the day and rumors start running rampant.

But after saving the cockatoo and giving him therapy after new boys came in and thought he was carnival shooting toy, the smaller dogs and the cat were relieved and came out of hiding, and finding dishes and food in very clever hiding places things are getting back to normal... or as normal as it ever gets here.

Honestly, I do miss Turkey. It was wonderful there. I miss the people, mostly. But I love being home with my family and friends. I enjoy being in a place where I can drive to the store at a reasonable speed and where I can mostly count on people stopping for a red light.

Now that the turkey has been downed, two birthdays are almost out of the way, and the kids are back to the school grind we can get ready for Christmas. (sigh) But at least we'll have most of our family together, and for me that's the bestest part of the holidays.

***Note: The picture is of our favorite taxi driver whom we fondly call Benjamin. His name is actually Ebu Bakir which I mistakenly heard as "Abel Baker." I told him he looked like a Benjamin and he said, "Okay. I'll be Benjamin." He's totally awesome... :) and can drive better than most race car drivers I've seen.

Watching as they grow... Even the Youngest grow older

I sit and listen with a smile as the boys play.
It wasn't that long ago that I held them close and
nursed them upon my breast.
Not yesterday, but before.
My memories are not dimmed by their growth away from
Mommy's arms.
Inside I know that the nurturing I gave them lies inside
their hearts and will be with them forever.
It will help them to become father's, husband's, lovers.
They will understand the meaning of touch, kiss, and comfort.
It is not sad that they grow further away from me,
but I wonder how the gradual increase in their independence
happened without my seeing it come.
Time does create a difference in life, but I shall always
hear the whisper of "Mommy" in my mind and feel it in my heart.
I am not losing a child - I am creating young men that will
direct the future of our world...
right after they finish killing zombies on the latest video game.

Boys Will Be Boys

My children are not perfect. No child is perfect. My boys play, run, and can be very loud. They can also bring me flowers, give great hugs, and do nice things for you just to show that they love you. My boys pick up sticks, play swords, and sometimes pretend to shoot guns at aliens. They also pick up trash, do chores, and strive to be good students in school. My boys do not disrespect adults, make a habit of lying, or terrorize small animals. They do make mistakes, sometimes need to be chastised, and are reprimanded.

When the neighbor lady came over to complain that my older son was "terrorizing" his little brother I had trouble understanding that. She said that he was holding him down and covering his mouth and not letting him up to scream for help. She also said he then proceeded to "undermine her authority" and deny what she had seen with her own two eyes. When the little guy came in I asked and he denied that his brother had done any of these things. She listened still intent that some kind of punishment was mandated for the older one. Surely I didn't want him to grow up to be a tyrant.

The other neighbor who was outside was shocked. She said that nothing like that had happened. They boys had been playing a bit rough, yes. But they were laughing and having a good time. She had just told them they only had about 20 minutes left to play and perhaps they should come inside to finish their time. (She too has had run ins with this other neighbor.) She said that my older one was trying to explain to the busybody neighbor about them just playing, but she was refusing to listen. Busybody then insisted that she could call social services on him, how would he like that? He said he believed there was a misunderstanding. Busybody then insisted that they go inside and speak to me regarding his behavior.

Busybody came into the house and told me her story. I was unhappy with my son and doubted that he did nothing. I couldn't understand why someone would go to so much trouble to tell on a child if nothing had actually happened. I told him to get his brother because I was insisting that he must be fibbing to me since Busybody was so insistent. Little brother comes in and confirms Big Brother's story. He has no idea why the Busybody would be so upset.

Busybody then tells me that she can call social services on my children. She also says that I need to get rid of my cockatoo because the neighbors are complaining. I ask her if these are the same neighbors that come over to see the bird and ask about him? She says, "I know you home school your children, but perhaps you should find a better way to teach them." She also says, "Don't get used to keeping that bird because you won't have him much longer. Something will be done."

By this point I've had enough. I ask her, "Did you just come into my home to threaten me? I don't appreciate that at all." I then asked my husband to show her out, please. She goes to leave asking what she's done. On the way out she asks my husband if I'm on my period. "No," he says. "You just over stepped your bounds." To which she replies, "I don't think I did anything wrong."

My other neighbor says that this woman watches our children out the window all the time. She leaves treasures for them to find, but sometimes she comes outside to chastise them for playing.

In my humble opinion:

1. You do not threaten a child.
2. You do not undermine the authority of a parent.
3. You do not threaten a neighbor, you speak to them regarding your concern.
4. Children play and can be loud. If you live somewhere that has children and you have problems with this move into an adult only neighborhood or apartment.
5. If you have so much time on your hands that you spend hours looking out your window to find something to complain about you have too much time on your hands. Get a hobby.
6. If you go into someone's home displaying this kind of behavior you're very lucky that all they said to you is that perhaps you should leave. I'm sure there is a lot more that could have been said. Consider yourself lucky.