This is the US not Mexico

I understand that Cinco de Mayo is a Mexican holiday. I also understand that many Mexican Americans observe the holiday here in the United States, but for anyone to take offense to the five students at Live Oak High School  in Morgan Hill, California is nothing short of ludicrous. These five young men, sporting their patriotism for the US, were asked to either remove their shirts, turn them inside out, go home, or be suspended. However, the more than 100 students that were wearing depictions and colors of the Mexican Flag (red, white, and green) were not reprimanded.



One of the boys in questions is 1/2 Mexican. The boys were not causing problems, they were not instigating fights. On the contrary, other students, Mexican students to be precise, had approached them and had told them they were offended by their attire. These boys never said a word to the more than 100 students sporting patriotism for Mexico even though they were attending a US school.

Now I am not adverse to Mexicans nor do I have problems with Mexico as a country. I have taught at a Dallas high school where over 90% of the student population were from Mexico. I love the culture. When one of the students was having problems in her home she came to live with us for several months so she could finish school. However, I am extremely adverse to making American students feel as if supporting their country is wrong. I don't care what day of the year it is.

I also noted an absence of this particular story on CNN. Every other news site seemed to have it listed. CNN has been putting out sob stories of fear in Arizona over the new immigration law. They even posted a story about Cinco De Mayo in Arizona and how the new law, which isn't even being implemented at this time and doesn't go into effect for another month, has scared people into not celebrating this Mexican holiday. Forgive me if I laugh at this.

Perhaps CNN is not aware that Cinco de Mayo is about victory of a Mexican battle over the French forces in 1862. It actually has limited significance in Mexico and isn't widely celebrated. The major holiday of Mexico is in September and is called "Grito de Doleres." So, so much for the major significance of the holiday. It would be like the US creating a holiday for defeating the British in the Battle of the Chesapeake.

Why don't we have a holiday for this on September 5?

It is one thing to respect the rights and ideas of  immigrants in this country, but is an entirely different matter when we impose the lifestyles and holidays of another country on US students that have no interest in participating. Students at this school were taken from learning to being entertained by Mexican dancers and Mexican bands.

I know in Neenah High School they have diversity clubs. We take the time to learn about other cultures and celebrations in foreign language classes and through classes such as World History and Humanities. No one is saying that immigrants to this country should not be proud of their heritage, but they should also respect that they are celebrating in the United States and not in their country. Their national pride does not and should not override our own.

Arizona Gets Tough on Immigration

On the heels of an ICE raid last week Arizona legislatures working to pass legislation that will allow the state to determine the eligibility of a person to be in the State, verify a claim of legal residency, confirm the identity of a person, and determine if the person is in compliance with Federal immigration laws. 


Obama says the legislation "threatens to undermine basic notions of fairness that we treasure as Americans."


Arizona Senator Russell Pearce states that "illegal is not a race it's a crime."


Representative John Kavanagh says "70% of likely voters in Arizona support this law and I suspect that across the country the figures are similar." He also is confident that the governor will sign the bill as she is a strong supporter of the needs of immigration.


Definition of illegal immigrant: (noun) a foreigner who has entered or resides in a country unlawfully or without the country's authorization.


Just in case there is any doubt the definition of unlawful is: (adjective) not lawful; contrary to law; illegal.


In an interview with CNN's Anderson Cooper Kavanagh continues to say that "People are fed up with the lack of any enforcement of illegal immigration by the federal government. We have no choice but to fill the void that they've created."


While it is believed by critics of the bill that this will foster racial profiling supporters believe that it gives power back to the legal citizens of the United States and fosters the idea that America is still a land of opportunity but that opportunity is best found by following the proper channels to enter the country.


Although this legislation is making many Latino's fume with ideas of discrimination I have to believe that they must also understand that Arizona is not simply going after Latinos. This law does not profile one race over another nor one culture over another. It provides protection of the citizens and puts power in the hands of the police. 


Arizona is more likely, due to it's geographical location, to have more illegals coming in from Mexico that are of Latin American origin, but the law is for all illegals and not just Hispanics. 


With the federal government clicking their heels on what to do about the US immigration problems it is no wonder that states like Arizona are starting to take a stand with immigration problems. Sure there are a few kinks that will have to be ironed out of the wording, but the legislation is a start for people to see that many American's are fed up with immigration excuses and want some true law enforcement.

Troubles with Adopted Children - Is there hope?

On the heels of the TN woman, Torry Hansen, who sent her 7 year old adopted son back to Russia causing international upset between our two countries one has to wonder is the problem with the parent or the child. The woman sent the boy unattended on a jet with a backpack of cookies and energy drinks. In my opinion it's a bit of both. The boy, however, had suffered a history of abuse in his native country. The woman was aware of his background, but she claims she was unaware of the severity of his problems. She also, according to reports, did not enroll the child for public or home school. The true victim here is the child.


Of course Hansen is not the first adoptive parent that has raised the eyebrows of the adoption of foreign children in the US. In 2008 an adoptive father left his 21 month old baby in the backseat of his car at work; Peggy Sue Hilt beat her 2 year old adopted Russian daughter to death in 2006; Denis Merryman dies at age 8 after being adopted and starved to death. The list goes on with more than a dozen horrifying deaths of adoptive children solely from Russia. 


I know from experience that adopted children can be quite challenging. I was an adopted child myself. When you feel as if no one wants you it can cause some psychological harm. A child cannot comprehend why no one would want them. The fact that someone cares enough to adopt you just doesn't calculate easily. When you add children that suffer from other problems such as Fetal Alcohol Syndrome an entire new problem surfaces on top of what is already present.


The Deep Spring Ranch for Kids  in Eureka, Montana is one place that has been established to help families that have difficulties with adopted children, mainly from Russia, to cope better and to receive the mental and moral help they need to survive in a familial environment. CNN's Gary Tuchman does a wonderful and touching job bringing a story of a families struggle with a troubled young man they adopted as a toddler. This family chose to help the child and unite their family instead of giving up and sending the child back. They are simply amazing and inspiring.


Sometimes it's the tough choices that cause us the most difficulties that are the right choices. Parenting is not a part-time job.

How about a little support from our spouse?

I'm one of the lucky ones, and I freely admit it. I have a husband that is extremely supportive, but I know of men out there that need to be slapped and slapped hard. Here's what got me started this morning.

I was reading articles on CNN.com this morning as usual. I keep abreast of current events and happenings this way. I saw an article on "Men Don't Cheat Because Their Wife is Ugly." Of course the skewed article is a bit flawed and gives only one basic reason a man cheats, "he's unhappy." That aside I started reading responses. I came upon this Neanderthal response from a man:

We respect you as mothers and care givers to our children. However, If you let yourself go and become unattractive then it is our right to go find a better looking piece of tail to mess around with.

Wow. Intelligence becomes him, I'm sure. However, he did manage to spell and use correct grammar. Unfortunately his proper education must have been more important than his moral one. The fact is, I'm sure if his mother saw this she'd be darn proud of her little guy. (Yes, Virginia, that is sarcasm.)

My response to him is as follows:

Well, I imagine that the guest who responded that he has the right to cheat if his wife lets herself go is a fine husband indeed. What exactly constitutes letting oneself go? Women can get heavy for a number of reasons including age, childbirth, menopause, hormonal imbalance, depression, and many other factors. The fact of the matter is that men also can 'let themselves go' without any outside contributing factors. Does this mean that you should allow your wife to cheat on you as well? How about this? If you don't like the figure your wife has then work together to support one another in making yourself more attractive and healthier for one another? The time you spend looking to 'find a better looking piece of tail,' as you so eloquently put it, could be used to support the wife you said you would be faithful to for better or for worse. I seriously doubt it said that you would remain faithful until she lost her girlish figure.

Bottom line is that people that ignore and disrespect their spouses are the ones that cheat for whatever excuses they may come up with. Get a clue.

On a Few News Stories of the Week

There have been some odd things going on this week. Of course I have an opinion. Here is my take on a few things:

Kanye taking the mic from Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech: Stupid. He proved that consumption of alcohol kills brain cells. He better quit because I don't believe he can afford to lose many more.

Wilson on calling out Obama during his speech and congress "admonishing" him for his outburst. First off saying someone is lying is not the same thing as calling him a liar. A liar is someone that consistently doesn't tell the truth as opposed to someone that might be mistaken in his assumption. Wilson was rude, bottom line. However, this country is based on freedoms. He should be free to express his ideas and opinions. Personally I think it is refreshing to see someone in congress not asleep and actually paying attention.

On Serena Williams and her outburst. Please, forgive the girl for being upset and human. She was evidently having a bad day. The "outburst" she had was one of the most polite outbursts I've seen. She immediately apologized. Besides, the call on her foot fall was obviously bogus. She had a right to be a bit upset. I'm sure in the future she'll handle it differently.

On everyone that is claiming Wilson's outburst was due to racism. Get over yourself. Seriously, why is it that people bring up racism when a white politician says something against Obama? Did we forget that Obama is half white or that it is America and over half of out country is created of different races, religions, and ideas. The only way to stop racism is to ignore colors of people and just accept people as all being just that - people. We are prolonging our agony.

Today I tweeted a question that I would seriously love an answer to: When did the land of the free and the home of the brave become the field of sheep led by dogs and hunted by wolves?

Bruce Willis in W Magazine Shows He's Still Hot

I was listening to a news show this morning on CNN where they were talking about Bruce Willis and his new wife in a strange photo shoot on W Magazine that comes out in July. According to the "experts" in the celebrity field they were ashamed for Mr. Willis in his new role. During the show I was thinking more along the lines of, "Wow. He's over fifty and still hot."

Personally, I applaud Bruce Willis and his wife for going out there and showing that they have charisma together. I think it's great that Bruce is able to show off how buff a man over 50 can be. I also think that it's no one's place to feel ashamed for anyone else. If you don't like it, don't look at it. Also, don't assume just because you find the shoot absurd or wrong that the rest of us automatically agree with you.

I'm glad to see Bruce out there doing something and being happy. If he wants to do a totally nude shoot, I'm sure it will sell magazines because there are a lot of us out there that appreciate the body and creativity of a modern male, or female, regardless of their age.

The Face of a Killer

Most of us have heard about the body of a small boy found in the sandbox in Albuquerque, NM. It was beyond tragic that a child was murdered and left where other children could potentially find him.

This woman had an opportunity to do the right thing and change her mind, but she chose not to. I cannot even imagine the horror that this poor child went through.

According to CNN:

"She placed her hand over her son's mouth and nose and suffocated him. She had second thoughts about what she did. She performed CPR on her son, brought him back to life and then decided to go forward with that original act she had started to commit," Schultz said.

"What makes this story especially sad is, when asked the reason why she took Ty's life, Tiffany said that she did not want him to grow up with no one caring about him, the same way that she had grown up where nobody had cared about her."


Being a mother I cannot even fathom how a person that is brings a life into the world and assumes the responsibility of nurturing and caring can possibly move to murder and hatred.

The Secret to a Happy Marriage

I've been unhappily married and happily married. Like most people I much prefer the latter. Who wouldn't?

I think those that base their marriage simply on the love factor might be making a mistake. Love is grand, but it's like constantly eating the same meat without adding any spice, garnish, potatoes, or vegetables. Eventually it's going to be boring and you're going to want to go out for a side dish and dessert.

Make sure you have someone you can share things with - a key here is communication. You shouldn't be with someone that is constantly misunderstanding you and doesn't respect you.

Another mistake many people make is when they believe that a baby can save their marriage. You might want to keep in mind that sexual relations change with pregnancy and years after a child is born. A study at Texas A & M University show that about 90% of couples lose some degree of satisfaction in sexual relations after the birth of a child. A spouse that was very sexually romantic before the birth of a child is more than likely going to have a very difficult time adjusting to parenthood. The study also showed that those couples that took the time to become friends and shared their ideas and thoughts had less difficulty with adjusting to parenthood.

So, what does this mean? It means don't rush into a relationship. Take the time to get to know and actually like one another. People that rush into a marriage due to passion and sexual satisfaction tend to not stay married and become bored with their relationship.

According to an article in CNN that uses this study and others:

1. Birth of children puts a strain on a marriage
2. Boredom in a marriage have long term affects on a relationship
3. Happier people are less like to be divorced

So, you might want to keep in mind that a happy person keeps a happier family. Yet, in the US alone 1 in 6 people in the US believe they suffer from depression.

Here are some Pasty hints for a happy marriage:

1. Talk to one another. Not just about the easy stuff. Talk about everything and really get to know each other. Brace yourself for the things that are tough and don't take everything that is said personally. Internalizing what is said is not really listening.

2. Do things together. Don't make excuses that you don't have time or anything else like "we don't have the money" or "what do we do with the kids." Find solutions and make it happen. Taking a walk in a park doesn't cost anything and friends, even parents of friends, will more than likely not mind watching the kids for an hour or so, especially if the deed is reciprocated.

3. Learn to play together and laugh together. Have fun. Forget the problems and things that keep you down. Worrying about things does not make them go away. Share your problems and find a productive and workable solution. Work toward your goals together as a couple. There should never be a martyr in a marriage.

Sometimes love just isn't enough. Having a good relationship is work, but it's very much worthwhile. When you are close to your partner every minute you are with each other is a memory in the making.

Japanese Girl Choses Country Over Parents

A 13 year old Japanese girl chooses to stay in Japan even though both of her parents are being deported back to the Phillipines. They tried to fight the system, but Japan refused to relent. People say that the girl should have her parents, but Japan says that allowing the parents to stay undermines the core purpose of their immigration laws.

A one on one case would be one thing, but there are over 500 cases like this in Japan. Realistically creating such a loophole would allow persons who knowingly entered the country illegally, like the above stated parents, to have children in a country in order to circumvent the law. Not a good practice in my opinion.

The true tragedy in this case is that the girl does not know how to speak her parents native language. The parents could have been caught and deported at any time but they chose, like they chose to live in Japan without following proper channels, to not share their culture with their child. They also chose to give their daughter the choice to stay or to go back with them.

The United States received a lot of flack not too long ago with a similar case of a teenage girl whose parents were deported back to Central America. It happens.

The people that wish to circumvent the law know that there are consequences. Those that also have children when they live in a country illegally have to know that the child is not a free pass into the country.

I do feel for people that leave a country they feel cannot provide for them sufficiently. I understand the need and desire to want to succeed. I also know that there are several reasons why we cannot just turn a blind eye to those people that come into the country illegally and think they are above our laws and restrictions. I do not care if they are here for 10 months or 10 years - knowingly doing something wrong has consequences when you are caught. To those that are in a country illegally I say: "No one forced you to take a job and make a life in a country where you entered without following proper channels. Take your medicine."

I feel badly for the girl, don't get me wrong. It isn't fair that she is living without her parents, and the choice she made may be the right one for her. In my particular case my child would not have that option as I would never leave my children behind. Of course I never would have placed my children in that type of scenario to begin with.